In our classroom, there is a boy named Dou Dou who is 1 year and 3 months old. He likes to throw everything he has in his hand, whether it's a car or a cup. After looking at it, he will casually throw it on the floor. His grandmother always follows behind him, picking up things and giving them to him, while Dou Dou takes them for a while and continues to throw them away.
What does the teacher do?
After observing for a while, I reminded my grandmother not to pick it up for him. At this moment, Dou Dou glanced at his grandmother and didn't help him pick it up. He started crying. At this moment, I said to him, "I'm sorry, you threw this down yourself. You need to pick up the bus. Crying won't solve the problem. I know you can pick it up
Dou Dou looked at me in shock, stopped crying, and began to observe me. He noticed that my family and I had completely different reactions to his behavior of throwing things and crying. I didn't comfort him, nor did I blame his behavior, but I firmly told him, 'You threw it, you need to pick it up yourself.'.
He hesitated for a moment, then picked up the toy car himself and even smiled. Grandma was surprised and also clearly saw how different children's attitudes towards adults were. So, as adults, it is important for us to distinguish the crying of children. Not all crying requires hugs or comfort. Learning to distinguish a child's crying is something that every caregiver should humbly learn.
Babies are born observers
From birth, babies observe their surroundings and people, especially their own family members. Often, they can see through our true thoughts as adults, so family members are easily seen through and controlled by children. Adults, however, find it difficult to see their own inner selves, so we are often either led by our children or left to their control to do things.
Many of the children I have observed use crying to threaten their families, because they know that 'as long as I cry, you will satisfy me', so 'crying' is my best weapon. Children's crying is very rich: because they are hungry, because they are cold, because they are hot, because they are thirsty, because they are afraid, because their mother's movements towards me are not gentle enough, because of external sounds, because of strong light, because I need to explore the world, but adults do not satisfy me because I want to be stopped from carrying things, and so on. These reasons need us adults to observe and analyze. When we understand why children cry, we can make corresponding responses, which will be more appropriate.
