Whether in school or at home, many people's methods of educating children boil down to "criticism and punishment". But the fact is, can this really help correct mistakes and become more perfect? But many child education theories, such as Montessori theory and positive discipline theory, deny the effectiveness of criticism and punishment.
Why criticism and punishment are useless
If you tell a child how mischievous and foolish they are, it will only hurt them and not improve them. Because if you want him to avoid making mistakes, he must first become more proficient, and since he has already been considered a failure, how can he improve? But logically speaking, criticism and punishment are ineffective. Moreover, criticism and punishment often damage a child's self-esteem, causing indelible psychological trauma and stirring up their inner resistance. It may also make him more depressed and become a puppet like well behaved child, because we always praise and punish children, and they will gradually lose their ability to restrain themselves. The methods of restraint must be provided by adults, which limits their spiritual freedom.
Children learn through making mistakes
If we adopt a pragmatic attitude, we should recognize that every one of us makes mistakes and keeps making them. It can even be said that mistakes are an inseparable part of our lives, and it is precisely because of them that we have the possibility of progress. Errors are often corrected in the course of life. For example, children who have learned to walk only realize that they need to look around and pay attention to obstacles after falling and getting hurt repeatedly.
Recognizing mistakes is more important than correcting them
Therefore, Montessori believed that correcting mistakes was not the most important thing, and recognizing one's own mistakes was more valuable. Everyone should have the ability to reflect on themselves and whether what they have done is correct, and we should be interested in our own mistakes so that we have the strength to correct them ourselves.
If a child says to you, 'I am not perfect, nor am I omnipotent, but I know what I can do. I may make mistakes, but I can discover and correct them on my own,' isn't this child more joyful than relying on others to tell him right and wrong, and relying on others to help correct them?
