In the fast-paced world of parenting tips and tricks, positive parenting influencer Krystal Slavin, known as @mama_nurturer on Instagram, has struck gold with a simple yet powerful technique that’s taking the parenting community by storm.
The secret weapon? The “When/Then” reframe—a subtle linguistic adjustment that can make a world of difference in how your kids respond to your requests.
In a recent viral video , Slavin shared her insights on the impact of language on children’s behavior. The core idea is straightforward: replace negative demands with positive expectations using the “When/Then” formula. This small tweak can turn potential power struggles into cooperative moments.
Slavin illustrates the concept with practical examples that resonate with everyday parenting scenarios:
- Instead of saying, “You have to put your shoes on before you go outside,” try “WHEN your shoes are on, THEN we can go outside.”
- Rather than insisting, “We can’t go to the park until you clean up your mess,” say “WHEN all the toys are put away, THEN we can go to the park.”
- Swap out, “No TV until you eat breakfast,” for “WHEN you’ve finished your breakfast, THEN you can watch TV.”
- Transform, “You can’t ride your bike without your helmet,” into “WHEN your helmet is on, THEN you can ride your bike.”
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The brilliance of the “When/Then” reframe lies in its ability to provide children with a sense of control. By framing requests in a positive light, parents empower their kids to see tasks as opportunities rather than obligations. This shift can reduce resistance and foster a more cooperative attitude.
While parenting is far from a one-size-fits-all endeavor, and no technique guarantees 100% success, for parents facing resistance or seeking a smoother communication style with their children, the “When/Then” reframe may just be the game-changing hack they’ve been searching for. It’s a simple adjustment that holds the potential to make parenting a more positive and collaborative experience for both parents and children alike.
